


Everyone hates Sherlock hour

by Phantastic_Whovian



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Group chat, Multi, Sherlock Needs A Hug, Study Group, everyones gay, group chat au, im sorry, nobody's straight, sherlock feels very attacked
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-09-16 17:58:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9283520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantastic_Whovian/pseuds/Phantastic_Whovian
Summary: Sherlock creates a group chat for his biology group to converse about their project.Of course, it doesn't go as planned. What ever does when it comes to Sherlock's life?(Everyone is teasing Sherlock. Sherlock literally just wants to study. John is very Not Straight™ and very proud of it. None of them are straight, tbh.)





	1. Sherlock feels attacked

_Sherlock has added John, Molly, Mary, and Greg to this conversation_

 

Sherlock:Hello. SH

Sherlock: I started this chat so we have a means of communicates apart from school hours to work on our biology project, as I expect us to get a better grade than I’m sure you’re used to. SH

John: sherlock

John: you barely get decent grades, you never do the work

Sherlock: I have no time for boredom, John. My time is far too precious. SH

Greg: So what are we doing for the project anyways?

Sherlock: Excellent question, Graham. Any ideas? SH

Sherlock: Anyone? SH

Greg: its GREG

Greg: my name is written RIGHT THERE

Greg: and no

Mary: lets do something easy

Mary: easy project easy grade

Sherlock: I expected better of you, Mary. SH

Molly: maybe something with plants? idk

John: why are u all up anyways its like 2 AM

Molly: bingeing glee

Greg: trying to finish this book for english

Mary: plotting the death of my enemies

Mary: JK im bingeing spn

Sherlock: I don’t need sleep. SH

John: don’t expect me to help when you pass out from exhaustion

Mary: you will, you’re whipped.

John: shut up

John: is it suddenly bad to help your friends?

Molly: no

Molly: but we all know you’re not ‘just friends’

John: Whatever I’m going to bed

John: night sherl

Sherlock: Goodnight,John. SH

 

Mary: Storytime!!

Molly: Oh god.

John: what happened?

Mary: so i was in english with sherlock

John: thats a great start

Mary: right?? so the teacher tells us that we’re reading animal farm

Mary: and sherlock tells us he’s already read it

Mary: the teacher says ‘no problem, we have other options’

Mary: so she starts listing all the books-enders game, Fahrenheit 451, anthem

Mary: he’s read them all.

Mary: so she starts listing the AP curriculum books

Mary: he’s read those too

Mary: eventually she gets to the senior books. She starts naming books the seniors don’t even read-Macbeth, Hamlet, ,\much ado about nothing, anna karenina, don quixote

Mary: finally she asks what he has left to read

Mary: she’s beyond frustrated at this point

Mary: and he opens his bag

Mary: and he has two college biology textbooks, a college psychology textbook, a college book on something i can’t even name or pronounce, and a copy of one of the berenstein bears books

John: ?????

Mary: The class is in tears at this point

Mary: And the teacher doesn’t know what to do

Mary: And sherlokc says ‘well perhaps i would be more intellectually challenged if this school taught something actually informative and useful instead of teaching primary school subjects to cater to the intelligence of these vile half-wits.’

Mary: So now he’s suspended

John: tag yourself I’m vile half wits

Molly: I’m the berenstein bears book

Greg: im ‘sherlokc’

Sherlock: I feel very attacked right now SH

Sherlock: Has it become ‘everyone hates sherlock hour’ ? SH

Mary: oh we’re just teasing sherlock

_John has renamed the chat to ‘Everyone hates sherlock hour_

_John has changed their username to ‘vile half wit’_

Sherlock: John, you know I value your contributions and have come to think of you as a kindred spirit. SH

_Mary has changed their username to ‘kindred spirit’_

Sherlock: Is this actually happening? SH

_Molly has changed their username to ‘berenstein bears’_

_Greg has changed their username to ‘shush children’_

berenstein bears: really greg

kindred spirit: your not even that much older than us

vile half wit: but he is the Dad Friend™

shush children: id argue but

vile half wit: you literally scolded me for an hour when i went to that party the other night

the berenstein bears: you taught me how to punch someone

Sherlock: You made me go to sleep at 2 AM because you thought going two days without sleeping was unreasonable. SH

vile half wit: tbh it is

vile half wit: sometimes it astounds me that you aren’t dead yet

Sherlock: Me too. SH


	2. Operation Johnlock

kindred spirit: im bored

kindred spirit: someone talk to meeeee

berenstein bears: what about?

kindred spirit: idk

kindred spirit: are you caught up in Doctor Who yet

berenstein bears: ugh no i haven’t had any time

vile half wit: that reminds me-sherlock lets have that doctor who marathon tonight

Sherlock: Okay. SH

Sherlock: What season were we last on? SH

vile half wit: seven i think

Sherlock: I’ll pick up chinese on the way back to our dorm. SH

vile half wit: thanks

kindred spirit: you guys are so domestic ugh its kinda disgusting.

kindred spirit: ooh i have an idea

_kindred spirit has added The Woman to the chat_

The Woman: Hello everyone!

berenstein bears: hello irene

vile half wit: hi

_Sherlock has left the chat_

_kindred spirit has added Sherlock to the chat_

kindred spirit: nice try

Sherlock: Hello Irene. SH

The Woman: well nice to feel welcomed

kindred spirit: ugh ignore them, I’m sorry. they’re being ridiculous

kindred spirit: actually hang on i need to talk to you about something anyways, I’m going to message you

 

_kindred spirit has started a conversation with The Woman_

_kindred spirit has renamed the chat to ‘operation Johnlock’_

The Woman: I like the way you think, Mary.

kindred spirit: thanks. any ideas?

The Woman: Well, we could find some way for them to have to share a bed, we could somehow force them into a fake relationship that turns real, we could dare them to date without falling in love because they’ll lose.

kindred spirit: ….

kindred spirit: you read way too much fan fiction.

The Woman: Oh, you have no idea.

_kindred spirit has added shush children and berenstein bears to this conversation_

kindred spirit: so does either of you have any ideas how to get john and sherlock together since they’re idiots

berenstein bears: well irene had some good ideas, but none of them would work in real life.

berenstein bears: i think we should get them tickets to a musical

berenstein bears: sherlock hates those, so he’ll be paying more attention to john than the musical

berenstein bears: and john loves musicals so he’ll be able to convince sherlock to come

berenstein bears: and then you know sherlock will buy him something at intermission and John will get all blushy

berenstein bears: and sherlock literally cannot handle when john blushes ;)

kindred spirit: oooohhhh yes thats perfect

kindred spirit: and actually thats johns birthday so we can claim thats what the tickets are for

berenstein bears: and we can book them a hotel room in the area, since the show will obviously be much too far away and much too late for them to drive

The Woman: And of course, there’ll be a mixup and they’ll give them a room with only one bed. ;) Accidentally, of course.

berenstein bears: of course

kindred spirits: obviously ;)

The Woman: It’s a plan, then!

shush children: I don’t think I’ve ever been happier that i have a boyfriend and you can’t mess with my love life.

shush children: actually myc might be able to help with getting the best seats and the hotel room

The Woman: Great.

kindred spirit: its a plan!

 

**_Everyone hates Sherlock Hour_ **

Sherlock: They’ve been quiet for an alarming amount of time. SH

vile half wit: yeah

vile half wit: I’m a bit scared i think mary and irene are plotting

vile half wit: possibly molly too

Sherlock: That is very concerning. SH

vile half wit: are you almost home?

Sherlock: Yes, I’ll be there in a few minutes. SH

vile half wit: :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im back!...sorta?  
> I know i know this has taken forever and you probably forgot this existed  
> I'm sORRYYY  
> Im not gonna promise that ill update more often because i probably wont but i do feel bad about updating so infrequently

**_Everyone hates Sherlock Hour_ **

 

vile half wit: thanks for the tickets mary! I’ve been meaning to see les mis again before it leaves.

kindred spirit: no problem john :) who are you taking with the second ticket?

kindred spirit: id force you to take me but im working that entire weekend :(

vile half wit: dunno. would you be interested greg?

shush children: sorry I’ve got a football championship that day

vile half wits: molly?

berenstein bears: i would, but i have to babysit my cousins :(

vile half wits: is everyone busy that weekend?

kindred spirit: to be fair I’m always busy

berenstein bears: i think sherlock is free

vile half wits: sherlock hates musicals. he can’t stand them

Sherlock: I may hate musicals, but if you need someone to go with, I wouldn’t object. SH

vile half wits: yes you would

Sherlock: I would, but I would still go at any rate. SH

vile half wit: alright then, mate. you’re coming with me?

Sherlock: I suppose so. SH

vile half wit: oh don’t start already

vile half wit: you know you don’t have to sign everything with SH we all know its you

Sherlock: I do it habitually. SH

vile half wit: yeah, sure.

 

**_Operation Johnlock_ **

kindred spirit: operation johnlock is go i repeat operation johnlock is go

The Woman: Yes!

berenstein bears: this is gonna be great

shush children: I’ve talked to myc and he told me he has plenty of blackmail material to make sure he doesn’t back out

kindred spirit: how did you get him to help us

shush children: ;)

shush children: ;) ;)

kindred spirit: I’m scarred for life

shush children: besides he’s as sick of the tension as the rest of us.

kindred spirit:honestly i don’t doubt it

 

_ Vile half wit  _ has opened a chat with  _ berenstein bears, shush children, The Woman, and kindred spirit _

 

Vile half wit: You utter DICKS


End file.
